My Babies....

My babies, Cheeqee and Sir Lucky.

Cheeqee and Sir Lucky came into my life could be considered as by accident. Cheeqee is/was a friend's, She has some problems and couldn't provide full attention to Cheeqee. I was supposed to be a temporary foster parent but Cheeqee has been with me since Oct 2009. He is the Apple of my sister's eyes.

Sir Lucky has all the Luck in the World. He was almost rolled under a Waja's wheel when I first found him in the middle of a busy road. If he were a female I would have named him Lady Luck, that's the reason he is called Sir Lucky.....

These 2 munchkins are my heart and soul as I am in my journey in the Single Town. They light up my life and they always make me smile.....

Thinking of someone....

Hye Love,

How are you doing today? Any interesting thing to share? Well, hope you have enjoyed your day so far.

Love,
Remember M, I have mention M to your previously, how I like M so much. How M's smile could melt me in seconds and M's piercing eyes could make me swooned...hahahah.....

It has been almost 2 weeks since I have first met M. Everyday since I am smitten by M. You may think I am crazy to be head over heel for a person I have only known for a very short while. I only met M twice. Crazy me! But to tell you the truth, I am crazy about M and couldn't get M out of my mind.

Everyday, I always make a point to talk to M over the phone. I need to listen to M's voice before I'm going to start the day. Until I am afraid I am disturbing and trespassing. M still giving me mixed signals....arghhh.....should I pursue u or just stay away, M????

Love,
Please give me some advice, should I or just back away and remained friends with M? ......HELP!

Hope to hear from you soon Love, I have to go now, just want to give M a call... See you soon.

The one who loved to love,
Ardee

Hunter is still hunting....

Facts of life.... Sometime the hunter brings in the kill, sometime the hunter have to keep on hunting.

Tonight, I was stalking the prey, focusing on which angel to attack. The prey fell into the trap, allured by the lights, liked what they see and wanted it, but the Brazil game tonight has awaken them from trance..... I have lost the kill... well there will more tomorrow...

Life as it is.....Stealth Killer Mode

Today am at work, preparing myself mentally and emotional for the KILL. Come what may, I am aiming for the highest KILL this month as my pocket is starving to the max. Only by bringing home the KILL would be the solution!

I am not going to kill people literally for a living, am not a hired killer but I want to kill a sale each time the prey is presented to me. It is easy to have the prey chucked in front of me but it is a tough job to nail it down. I have to use a lot of angles you could imaging.

Tonight and any other night, I will let loose the tiger, the leopard and the most stealth killer instinct in me. I will keep my ears open and my senses for the prey's weaknesses. I may not aim to break the neck but I may attack the broods...hahahahha whatever it takes. No mercy!

Hell of a Day!!!

June 30th, 2010. The day I left my old life behind.

Dear Love,
I have had a very stressful and fucked up day today. So many unwanted things have happened at a go. Everything has came up unexpectedly. I always knew they will eventually come but I don't expect it so soon. My bad debts are chasing me, left right, back, front and centre. I am in deep shit. I had to face all and make decisions alone.

Love, That's not the most heartbreaking part. Today I had to leave the life I used to have behind without turning back even a glance. I had to forget that I used to love my dearest so much. I had to say good bye permanently to a place I had called home for the past 3 years. A place I had prepared for our nesting ground, our humble abode. I painted the walls and filled it with love. It was not just a house or a home, it was my castle, my fort, now no more.

Love,
I am sorry if from now on you will see me differently. I may not be the same me you used to know. I may look different, I may talk different and I may even sound different. I am inventing the new me. I have had enough of being the old new that brings nothing and people always sees the old me as weak and a loser. I am sick and tired of the same perspectives they have. I am a great person, I could be even better than anyone could imaging. You would have to wait and see, love. You will fall in love with the new me, as if you are falling for a new person.

Love,
I wouldn't want to bore you. Please forgive me if I haven't see you around as much as I should. I would be very busy with work and pursuing my new love interest as you know so well, I could not live in single hood too long.I already someone in the picture but I still have the fear of the past would come back haunting me. I am afraid I might failed again. But, M is...how could I describe M. Each time I am downed emotionally, just hearing M's voice and listening to M, would makes all the iceberg in me melted, all the fire of anger and frustrations doused off. Ahhh....not to forget M's smiles....the smile that could  make Kings surrendering their thrones... M may or may not be mine, but how I wished M is mine forever.

I believe I would have to stop here. I will write to you again soon. Hopefully by then, I could give you an update or two and maybe a happy news. I leave you now with a note of love and friendship. Take care my love, always be happy and cheerful.

The one who will always love you,
Edd Ardee

p/s: I have attached my new picture taken at the new office...I am a lot slimmer now.. :)

Trying to get back on track....

Living a life without challenges could be very dull, living a life full of challenges and obstacles could be very taxing to one's mind and body. However hard and painful it is, life must go on.

Since the last post, so many things happened in my life. Yours truly had to face 1 thing after another and sometimes so many things happened at once. Lately, only bad things came and few what could be called little bit of happiness arrived. I still strongly believe, things happened for a reason, which is no one knows.

I am in a deep mess. Love life lost, financial hell, I have lost most of the precious things in my life that I had hold on to and those people and material things which had kept me going on running through the hurdles. But life still have to move on.

My love left me as the sparks had died. This time, there is no turning back for us. I have done fighting to get the love back and light the sparks. I have done fight for someone which most probably was not meant for me. I really don't know where to find the so-called soul mate. I don't even really know if the soul mate exist, that someone out there is meant for me. Oh well, if there is, I will not go and look for it, I will just let it come to me. I will put efforts in it but I will not put high hopes on it.

I have a job, which I enjoy so much, it looks easy but it is a tough job. I'm doing what I love to do, but still it is hard at the moment. I have yet to prove the capabilities I have to excel and make money. I am loosing my focus in life and it is dragging me down. I need a sounding board but none to find at the moment.

Recently I have met someone. It was, I could say love at the first sight, but the pull was so strong. I could not stop thinking about the person. The person has what I am looking for in a partner, smile that could melts my heart and a pair of eyes that speak to me without words. As if it was a reflex reaction, I kept turning my head and couldn't stop staring. I made a point to get to know the person who I shall made M. M has the most beautiful smile and I could stare in to M's eyes for hours.

It would be a big challenge for me to have M though. M is attached and M is not PLU. If I were to have M, I have to be patient and be my true self. M is giving little responses but sometimes mixed signals. I don't want to  interpret it wrongly. Therefore, I am rather extra careful reading the signals M's throwing at me. M is a very nice person, whose life and scarifies were not appreciated before by some. M is unique in a way. But I have yet to get to know M better.

Actually, I have a fear that losing M. I have the fear, I am not worthy for M. I feel this way as I am yet to really know what does M feel and think about me. I rather ended up as just a friend than losing M totally, the reason why I feel like I am walking on a very thin glass...

All in all, whenever I am downed, I just need to listen to M's voice and it will put smiles back to my face. By looking at M's smiling picture could instantly craved wide smiles even in my sourest mood... Thank you, M.

These are the thing I am going through at the moment, today. Only God knows what is there waiting for me in life. I still believe things happen for a reason and the reason to make me treasure each of my waking day more. Alhamdulillah, Thank you God!

I'm back!!!

It has been a while since my last post here. I have been very busy with life and work commitments. Everyday life is a hactic life nowadays. My working hours are not fixed to 9 to 5 but for sure I will clock in 9 1/2 hours to 12 hours everyday depends on the week's schedule. It may seemed a boring day to day agenda. You won't believe if I tell you the journey I went through for the past 2 months or so.

Wow! I have so many things to share I don't know where to start. Hmmm... Let me start with my birthday this year.

17th January this year just like any other day. As I did the years before I planned to be a Tourist in KL for a day. I didn't get to do it the year before, not last year and guess what, not even this year. It is just a simple wish... I wished I could spend a day with a camera in hand, nice pair of walking shoes, comfortable clothing running around just like the Japanese tourists in town taking pictures and going to the parks and monuments and be able to posse while holding up the two-finger peace sign. I'm not asking much.

Ended up I spent my birthday in Sg Wang with Sophie and my two sisters. Still I didn't get to do what I have planned. Better luck next year!!