Pieces of my thoughts.....

Hye Love,
I miss u...
I am sorry for shying away from you. It has been quite sometime since I visited u last. I have been busy working and the odd hours deterred me from visiting u as frequent as I want it to be.

I have been running for the 1st place at work, I am aiming for that extra RM1k. Now I am 2nd behind the Champ. I have 4 more days of hard running as I have wasted 1 weekend....I really want that 1st place badly, not just for the extra dough but the chance to prove to myself I can do it!

Love,
I don't know why I couldn't forget Amie even I really really tried to forget Amie. The memories keep coming back and I always have Amie's name at the tip of my mouth. I don't want to hate Amie, I am actually happy for Amie as I know Amie has found happiness Amie has been searching for. Amie has wasted 3 and 1/2 of her life with me, and I have let it happened. Amie, I have always love u, but I could love u no more. Please be known to u, I have never and not a single second not appreciating u in my life. I have treasured u and put u on the highest pedestal, even worshiped u as the Queen of my heart. I never regretted the moments spend with u and I never hate u till now. But Amie, there will be no more DD and Amie....there will be Edd and no more Elyza.

Love,
Sometimes I feel I need someone in my life so badly. I want to have someone I could call lover or the One. Deep inside my heart, I am just not ready. I still carry the fear of being hurt and rejected again. I know, M will never be mine, maybe not anytime soon. I am in fear of hurting M, as I still have a lot of unsettled issues so does M. Everyone around has warned me that I might get hurt is I keep pursuing M. I don't know now, Love...what should I do? I don't want to lose M forever.

Well Love,
Actually, M has rejected me in the nicest way ever happened in my life. M wants to just stays friends. I guess that would be the best thing. Both of us still not ready and not to make things worst and awkward. As long as I could see M smiling and hearing M's voice, I will be fine. I will be always admiring M from far and wait for the day to come and bring M to me to love and be loved. The hope will never die.

Love,
I have to be strong and keep my mind intact. I couldn't afford to lose my focus and determinations. I have very limited time, I am reaching 35 faster than I ever could imaging. I have yet to buy the X1 with Electric Blue Paint, Suede Leather interior and rotating sport rims....the 1200sqft Condo....the trips I have promised myself. Would I be able to reach all this? I am praying hard to Allah, to grant me more time and good health and shower me with wealth before I finally close my eyes. So I would know, I have purposed to be in this temporary world and I had fulfilled the purposes.

Love, don't let me tire u more with these thoughts of mine. I just need someone who could listen without judging. Thank u, Love. U are the best listener I have so far, and I know u will forever be listening. Till the next sharing, Love. Take care and be healthy...


The one who always come to u,
Edd Ardee